Recently I returned from a ten-day study tour in Asia Minor (modern day Turkey).

Before my trip several close friends and relatives had warned me about the dangers of Turkey, and some pleaded with me to back out of the trip altogether. According to some, I am too hardheaded to take good advice, but I am so glad that I stuck with the original plan! I was able to experience firsthand the beauty of Asia Minor, the excavated sites, and the teachings about the early church and how they spread God’s love in the first century Greco-Roman world.

After a late-night arrival at our first hotel, we were welcomed the first morning by gorgeous scenery and breath-taking views in all directions. Turkey is absolutely stunning! I had no idea it was going to be such a beautiful country!

Our guide led our group in a Rabbinic approach, which means that every morning it was a mystery where we would be traveling and what lessons the Lord would have for us throughout the day. The lessons were rich, the surroundings were awe-inspiring, and the connections made between the well-known words of Scripture with the context of the first century Greco-Roman world were absolutely fascinating.

Day 5 arrived like the previous four days: early alarm, stiff joints from hiking, quick breakfast, short devotional, and then a bus ride to our first destination — a vineyard. Rows upon rows and acres upon acres of lush vines full of gorgeous green grapes that looked ripe and ready to be picked. Little did I know that this would be the exact location God would choose to speak to me about my inability to create and keep margin in my life.

Margin. It’s a simple word with several meanings, but the meaning I’m referring to here is the empty space around the edge of a page.

I’m more of a narrow margin kind of girl, the kind that fills every single speck of this page called life. I wake up each day busy with a to-do list of tasks that I’ll never have enough time to complete and then go to bed exhausted, dreading the next day where I’ll hit “repeat” for the busy, margin-less day ahead.

It’s all “good” stuff! Every task I set out to complete is almost always good. Good things that fall under the category of “ministry,” so they must be good…right?

The problem is that I overexpose myself. I put my name at the top of too many lists, where I’m in charge, and because I’m a busybody, living a margin-less life, and serving the Lord…it all seems good.

Our rabbi explained the context of John 15, “The Vine and the Branches,” as we rested in the vineyard. He described the necessity of and the process of pruning (that’s a whole other blog).

After his teaching he gave our group time to walk along the rows of the vineyard to reflect on the teaching and listen to what God was speaking to each of us. I knew from the beginning of the lesson that God was telling me that it’s past time to make time.  As I walked with tear-filled eyes, I came across an unhealthy clump of grapes that perfectly portrayed my margin-less life.

This unhealthy clump had gorgeous green grapes that were hidden behind a section of shriveled up, brownish-purplish raisins still attached to and hanging on the vine.

Overexposed.

Grapes that were hogging the sunlight.

It was a perfect, horrific, and to be quite honest, ugly representation of my margin-less life.

My lack of margin had me so busy that I was unaware of the self-inflicting damage I was causing. Busyness was sucking the life out of me, and it wasn’t appealing. The overexposed grapes appeared unappetizing, nestled among the clumps with gorgeous, green, healthy grapes.

At once I realized — my life couldn’t possibly be appealing to anyone who was considering becoming a follower of Christ. No one would ever say, “I’d like my life to look like hers. She is always going, never stops, and so busy she doesn’t have time to do anything to the best of her ability.” That’s not the life anyone craves, and it’s not the life that I was created to have! God never intends for any of His children to run at a pace that cannot be maintained. No one was created to live every moment up front and center.

God did not create any of us to do it all!

In fact, we all play a part and have a place in God’s economy. Paul uses the image of a body for the people of God who make up the Church. We each have a role based on the spiritual gifts that we possess, but regardless of how meaningful or meaningless we feel our spiritual gift may be, to God it is no more or no less vital!

“But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”         1 Corinthians 12:18-20

When I try to do it all, what I’m actually doing is stealing the joy someone else should be receiving by using the gifts and callings that God has placed in him or her.

I am still a work in progress. I’m trying to narrow down exactly what my God-given tasks are, working on pruning my areas of overexposure, which may sound much easier than it actually is, and intentionally setting margins on the future pages of my life.

I would love to hear how you create and keep margin in your life if you have a tendency to live overexposed!

I am a C
I am a C-H
I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N
And I will L-O-V-E, love Him
Till the day I D-I-E
Cause I have J-E-S-U-S
In my H-E-A-R-T
Repeat 10,000 xs

Am I really?

So many people when asked if they are a follower of Christ answer, “Yes, I am a Christian.”

However merely saying “I am a Christian” doesn’t actually make anyone a Christian.

I could identify myself as a professional athlete. My pastor seems to really like a specific team, so I’ll go ahead and claim that I’m a Dallas Cowboy. I could purchase a Dallas Cowboy jersey. I could even buy a Dallas Cowboy jersey and have my name printed on the back, but if I showed up for practice, wherever the Cowboys actually practice, I’m pretty sure that someone would escort me out the door. Quickly.

They would probably ask me, “Who are you?” I would quickly reply, “Don’t you remember me? I’m Carrie Prouse. I am a Dallas Cowboy.” To which they would say, “Who? Carrie Prouse?? Never heard of you.” And that would be that. My claimed career as a Dallas Cowboy would end before it truly ever began.

It sounds so silly. Delusional, really. Sadly, though, that’s how many of us are with our faith.

We own a Bible. It may even have our name engraved in gold or silver foil on the cover, but that doesn’t make us a Christian anymore than having our name printed on the back of a Dallas Cowboy jersey makes us a professional football player.

To be a professional athlete in any sport, it takes time. It takes hours and hours of practice — blood,  sweat, tears, and years of practice. Professional athletes have to spend countless hours training, working out in the gym, and I’m guessing most of them have a very strict diet. Repeatedly in practices, they have to take hit after hit — no pain, no gain. I cannot fathom the physical endurance you have to have to make it to the big leagues. There is no telling what goes into being a professional athlete that my feeble, little, non-athletic mind knows nothing about!

To truly be a Christian…let’s scratch that title first. To truly be a Christ-follower, we have to do just that. We have to follow Christ. How can we follow Him if we know absolutely nothing about Him other than being able to say we believe He is the Son of God?

To follow Him we have to put in a lot of time. I don’t mean spend a lot of time at church. Being inside a church building doesn’t make us a follower of Christ. What I’m talking about is hours upon hours of reading, studying, and meditating on the Word of God.

“When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty.”     Jeremiah 15:16

According to this verse, it takes a special diet to know Christ intimately. It also takes time and effort on our part — time in prayer, communicating with our Heavenly Father. Being a Christ-follower takes blood, sweat, and tears. It takes years upon years to grow in your relationship with Christ, becoming a more spiritually mature disciple or student, as you grow in your knowledge of Him and His Word.

It isn’t always easy follow Christ. Sometimes you feel like you’re wearing a target, constantly feeling defeated, isolated, misunderstood, ridiculed, and judged harshly by others because of the claim you make to follow Jesus. Those hits sometimes hurt more than being physically knocked down.

My hope is, one day, when my time here on earth is done, when I meet my Father face-to-face, He will lovingly put His arm around my shoulder and say to me “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:21, 23)

Sadly, there are so many people who wear the title “Christian,” but they poorly represent Christ and give other actual Christ-followers a bad name.

My fear is that many who claim to be a Christian will meet Him face-to-face, and He will say, “Who are you? _______ ______?” “I never knew you.” (Matthew 7:23) Many who claim to be a Christian haven’t put in the time and effort: the blood sweat, and tears it takes to really know Him intimately. They never open their beautifully engraved Bible, but instead leave it sitting on a shelf.

If you feel like this is you, you claim to be a Christian, but you’re realizing you have a lot of work to do in your life to actually follow Christ, I encourage you to find a healthy church to be a part of. If you need help with this, I would be honored to help in any way I can. The best place to start is in prayer. I believe if someone humbles himself/herself before God and asks Him with a pure heart and pure intentions, He will lead and guide you in the right direction. It will take time, because nothing with God is instantaneous, but over time God will guide you to exactly where you were meant to be.

I am a busybody. There. I said it. If admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to recovery, then I have one foot on the path!

Last night I woke up from a dead sleep at 10:45 with my head full of thoughts about rest. Sounds ironic huh?

Visions of rest in my head as I sleep are not the norm. Visions of sugarplums, yes…I was a ballet dancer growing up so dancing in my sleep has been normal for me for the past 30 years. Someone who dances in their sleep, now that’s a true busybody right there.

Four months ago I told myself I have to Sabbath. I visited the Holy Land for twelve days on a Bible study tour at the end of May and my life changed in more ways than one. God began stirring some things inside of me on that trip that I still have not been able to fully piece together, but when I witnessed Jewish families enjoying an Erev Shabbat, or Sabbath Evening, on a beach of the Sea of Galilee my heart began to yearn for this thing called rest that I know nothing about.

I’m not crazy. I know all about naps. I mastered power naps in my mid-twenties. This rest I am talking about has nothing to do with extra sleep. I am talking about God’s design for Sabbath. A wide-awake, completely conscious ability to stop. Revive. Rejuvenate. Recharge. Reconnect.

It sounds so easy. Guess again.

Two months after vowing to Sabbath, a vow I had ignored for the two months after the return from my trip, I was reconvicted. I was at a conference at Chris Hodges church in Birmingham, Alabama. At this conference during one of the main sessions Pastor Chris began stressing the need and importance of rest.

I have a friend named Gina who is a wonderful accountability partner. You know the kind of accountability partner you want to tell to shut up about once a week when they point out you are not sticking to your plan or your promises?

Occasionally Gina sends me this picture she took of me at the GROW conference as a reminder when I refuse to rest.

Why do I make faces like that? No filter in the world could clean that up and make it pretty, but it’s a great reminder.

It took another two months but I am happy to announce that three weeks ago I finally set aside time for a Sabbath.

I’ll be the first to say it was a weak attempt. But I did it. Now I busted my rear the day before preparing to Sabbath, but I made it.

I told my eleven year old daughter, who is almost as good of an accountability partner as Gina, that my plan was to Sabbath beginning Friday afternoons or evenings, depending on what our family has going on, until 24 hours later on Saturday. Sunday Sabbath’s are not possible for me. I am on staff at my church as the children’s pastor and by the time I am at the church for 4-5 hours on a Sunday morning “rest” is not a word in my vocabulary!

Side note: If you have a preteen and you want them to hold you accountable just let them know. They love having permission to point out things we do wrong!

This evening and tomorrow during the day I will Sabbath for the third time.

I don’t want to be legalistic about it. I don’t want to set up rules and guidelines that are unrealistic for me. I don’t want to feel like a failure or make anyone else feel like they are failing. I just want to know this rest that God has given as a commandment but also as a gift to His children. I feel like Sabbath rest is similar to sexual purity: it is a gift given and blessed by God, but too many people, Christians included, refuse to acknowledge and open the gift.

I haven’t perfected it. I haven’t studied all I want to about the significance and the tradition that goes hand in hand with God’s design for Sabbath rest. I’m sure I’ll stumble. I’m sure there will be weeks I will totally blow it, but for now I am charging forward into this unknown and unexplored, at least by me anyways, realm of rest that I am intrigued by.

If God says we need this rest, how can we say we fully trust Him if we ignore our God ordained need to Sabbath?

Ready. Set. Rest.

Who is with me? If this is something you practice regularly, have considered attempting in the past, or are interested in I would love to hear your thoughts!

This past weekend I watched Disney’s Tangled with my daughters. Tangled is the story of Rapunzel, a very different version than the original Brothers Grimm folk tale, but the same long hair.

In the movie, Rapunzel’s golden locks possess magical powers to heal. As a baby Rapunzel is kidnapped from the kingdom of Corona by Mother Gothel. Mother Gothel needs Rapunzel’s magical hair to keep from aging. She raises Rapunzel as her own, hiding her safely in a tower far, far away from the kingdom. Rapunzel grows up not knowing her true identity. She has no clue that she is royalty, the lost princess. After a series of events and a great adventure where Rapunzel finally escapes the tower and makes it to the kingdom of Corona, she finds herself once again believing the lies of Mother Gothel and willingly returns to their home. Upon returning to the safety of the tower, Rapunzel collapses on her bed attempting to sort her thoughts. As she scans her own artwork on the walls and ceiling of her bedroom the pieces of her puzzling past begin to fall into place. She is the lost princess. She is royalty. The person she has believed to be her mother for eighteen years is no mother at all. In fact, Mother Gothel is her enemy, her adversary, the person who has destroyed her life and stolen her true identity.  In an instant Rapunzel realized her entire life was a lie.

As I watched Rapunzel unravel her true identity, I realized that’s what the enemy does to us. He destroys who we were created to be with his lies. Berating us and wearing us down nonstop so that we believe we are nothing. He constantly whispers how worthless we are. He repeatedly reminds us that our lives were meant to be meaningless, mediocre at best, that this life is all there is, and then we die. He fills our minds and our hearts with false beliefs of why we are here on this earth. He knows that if he can keep us from discovering our true identity in Christ, he can keep us from the greatness that God has planned for us.

We have an enemy. Peter refers to him as a “roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8b). Our enemy uses a variety of schemes against us, but you can be sure this roaring lion’s main agenda is “to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10).

Lions are fascinating animals. They are fierce, intimidating, powerful, ruthless, and beautiful creatures.

The only times I have ever seen lions in person was at lion exhibits at various zoos. Lions in captivity appear lethargic and docile. Anytime I have visited a lion exhibit at any zoo there were crowds of people gathered. Intrigued by the beauty of this exotic animal, adults and children of all ages eagerly wait to see the lion spring into action, but nothing ever happens. Normally the lions are napping in their man-made, African, savannah-like habitat. If it weren’t for the rising and falling of their mid-section on-lookers would guess the lions were not alive.

Peter wasn’t referring to zoo lions when he compared our enemy to a roaring lion.

Lions in the wild are a completely different story. While they still sleep 10-12 hours most days, they are dangerous predators. They attack unsuspecting prey, pouncing with their razor sharp claws, their gruesome teeth tearing into the flesh of their catch. If the animal is small it is consumed on-site, but if it is a larger animal they will drag the corpse to their territory where it will be shared by the members of the pride.

Any plan, purpose, or potential that God has created, our enemy will do anything he possibly can to put an end to it. The greater the plan, the larger the purpose, the bigger the potential – the more inconceivable are the plans of the enemy to destroy.

Last week my blog was about Gideon being greatly used by God and how God plans to use each of us greatly.

Our enemy wants to steal our true identity and force us to believe we are someone we were not created to be.

One of his favorite tactics to keep the children of God from being greatly used is replacing God’s truth with his lies, stealing our true identity.

“He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44b)

The truth is we are all children of the King. We are royalty. Everyone who is born again, who has accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior, is adopted as sons and daughters into the family of God and we become royalty.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9)

What lies has the enemy infiltrated into your mind? You don’t have to believe his lies any longer. It is time to find out who you were created to be. It is time to learn your true identity.

This past Saturday I ran a Spartan race.

Spartan races vary in length and the number of obstacles you must complete. There are four different types of Spartan races: sprint, super, beast and ultra-beast. The race I participated in was a Spartan Sprint. It was 4.4 miles in thick, deep mud, with 23 obstacles to complete. The mud was an added bonus from the flooding rains that took place over most of Texas the week before the race.

It was awful. I have never in my almost 40 years been as dirty as I was after this race. My hair, caked with mud, may never be the same. The clothes I wore still have a sandy hue after washing them twice. Not to mention the fact that I had to vacuum out my washing machine afterwards. The shoes I wore were beyond saving and had to be tossed.

As I ran the race with one of my closest friends I constantly reminded her, “This is my last Spartan race. No more.” But as we finished the race and jumped over the grand finale of obstacles, a burning fire pit, there was an exhilaration that, I’m not going to lie, makes me want to sign up for the next race.

I have scraps, bruises, sore muscles and ruined clothes from the race, but there is something about running around like a ninny – and yes, I am sure I looked more like a ninny than a beast – that made this aging woman feel childlike. And I loved it.

Paul references persevering in the race of life and completing the race with our eye on the prize: eternity. Many people use Paul’s race references in sermons and devotionals, but recently I read Luke’s account of Zacchaeus. Something about Zacchaeus’ story stood out to me that I had never taken into account before, probably because I had just ran in an obstacle race. Many have heard of Zacchaeus. He was short and had to climb a tree to get a good look at Jesus. There’s a song about him that many of us sang as children in Sunday school. If you know the song you are singing it in your head right now. I’m singing it too!

Zacchaeus was a wee little man – who had a very meaningful childlike experience: he climbed a tree.

The second verse of Luke 19 gives us some background information on Zacchaeus that doesn’t always jump off the page when we read it, but back in Jesus’ day anyone who read, heard or witnessed this account knew a lot about Zacchaeus.

“He was a chief tax collector and was wealthy” (Luke 19:2b).

Chief tax collectors were horrible people. In fact, in Matthew 21:32 Jesus placed tax collectors in the same category as prostitutes. Not only was Zacchaeus a tax collector, but he was a “chief” tax collector which meant he was a high ranking tax collector. He was wealthy. Tax collectors often added a personal commission to the taxes they collected for their own financial gain. And he was short. He could have possibly had short man complex, also known as Napoleon complex. Both of these are informal terms that describe those, mostly men, who have a tendency to overcompensate by being overly-aggressive and seeking power to make up for their lack of height.

So picture a short, wealthy, disliked by many, man running through the dusty streets of Jericho and climbing a tree like a child. Not a very dignified image if you ask me.

Why would Zacchaeus, a wealthy chief tax collector, act so undignified in public? Verse 3 paints a beautiful picture for us,

“He wanted to see who Jesus was.”

Zacchaeus heard what was being said about this man named Jesus. Rumor had it Jesus was performing miracles and healing people everywhere He went. Some said Jesus told His disciples, “Anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it” (Luke 18:17). He had told a rich ruler to follow Him. To sell everything he had and give it to the poor so he would receive treasure in heaven (Luke 18:22). Jesus had also told the crowd “What is impossible with men is possible with God (Luke 18:27). And Jesus had told a story about a tax collector who prayed in the temple and left justified by God (Luke 18:10-14). A tax collector.

Who was this man named Jesus? Zacchaeus had to know. He had to get a good look at him. So all of his prestige, his title, his wealth, everything went out the window as Zacchaeus took off, like a child, running through the streets ahead of the crowd. Throwing caution to the wind and attempting whatever obstacle was ahead of him so that he could see this man Jesus face to face. And like a child, he climbed up in a sycamore tree. In that tree Zacchaeus’ life changed.

He probably thought, with a crowd surrounding Jesus, he would go unnoticed. But Jesus had this way, and He still does, of finding the most unlikely in a crowd and calling them by name. “Zacchaeaus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today (Luke 19:5b).

Zacchaeus welcomed Him gladly. He instantly welcomed Jesus to his home with joy. He didn’t make excuses like most of us would have. “My house is a good distance from here. I haven’t swept the dirt off my floors in days. My cupboards are bare. There’s nothing to eat at my house.”

Zacchaeus is known for several things, but making excuses isn’t one of them.

His life change happened so fast when he saw Jesus face to face that without being asked or prompted Zacchaeus announced he was giving half of his possessions to the poor and paying back four times the amount he had cheated anyone in the past (Luke 19:8). Jesus didn’t tell him he had to. He didn’t have to. Jesus came to seek and save what was lost. Zacchaeus was lost before his tree climbing adventure. Then he got a good look at Jesus, welcomed Him gladly, and just like that he was a changed man. The old was gone.

Zacchaeus took the fast track when it came to life change. For some of us it’s not that easy. After meeting Jesus face to face we can make excuses all day every day for days until we forget what Jesus looked like.

When I met Jesus, truly met Him face to face, I didn’t climb a tree. I knelt beside my bed. Like a child, on my knees, with puddles of tears flooding the carpet, Jesus called my name. He didn’t tell me to stop making excuses. He didn’t have to. I knew then and there my life was never going to be the same. I still looked the same, still had the same occupation, lived at the same address, but the old me was gone. Like Zacchaeus, I welcomed Jesus gladly, and took the fast track when it came to life change.

An encounter with Jesus brings change.

It’s almost been ten years for me. A decade. I have not done everything perfectly. Daily I still make a mess of things, but in ten years I have never wanted to go back to my old way of life.

So what about you? What excuses have you been making? Where were you when you first saw Jesus face to face?

Comment below, I would love to hear your story.